How many times have you found yourself stuck in a rut, comparing yourself to other people? Maybe you were scrolling through your socials and you saw another entrepreneur with a similar service as you just smashing it, hot Insta images, flawless features, idyllic home office, mega followers and awesome reviews splashed all over their socials and in big ol’ publications. Maybe they’ve just been featured on Australia’s Top 100 Entrepreneurs List.
Suddenly, even though you were feeling on top of your game two minutes ago, you’ve started to feel like shite. You’re just not good enough. How can you ever compete with THAT? With THAT business? With THAT boss babe? With THAT super mom?
Sounds to me like you’ve got yourself a case of comparisonitis. And that, my friend, is the pits. I can say that with authority because I’ve been there. Let’s face it, probably 90% of us (or more?) have been there at some time or another. So the question is less about how you got there but has everything to do with how you deal with comparisonitis.
Comparisonitis can impact your wellbeing
As much as the word sounds like a load of malarky, the reality is that comparisonitis can have a huge impact on your wellbeing and the way you live your life. Inspirational author of “Mastering Your Inner Mean Girl” and Tedx Speaker Melissa Ambrosini has done a stellar job of bringing this into the light, calling it a “contagious, socially transmitted condition that occurs when you compare yourself to others so frequently and fiercely that you’re left paralyzed, with your confidence in tatters and your self-worth plummeting. It may sound trivial, but this affliction can have serious adverse effects on our mental health, leading to depression, anxiety, overthinking, and regret.
Luckily, there are ways to break that cycle of self-judgment and practical tips to not only manage it, but use it to your advantage.
Recognise the cycle and spin it
First, recognise the cycle of judgment and comparison. Acknowledge that you’re being critical of yourself and that your ego has taken the wheel and be kind to yourself. Noticing what is happening is the first step to letting it go and getting on with your life in a positive and healthy way. From there, gently and kindly tell it to go eff off. If this means you need to take a break from the social scrolling, notice that and do so!
Perhaps you can also ask yourself what is causing you to compare? Then see how you can use it to your advantage. Instead of looking at the person or business you’re comparing yourself to (and not actually knowing anything about their life) and getting down on yourself for not being as *insert comparison here* try to:
Focus on your strengths
Make a list of the things you’re good at. Surely you’ve gotten into the business that you’re in because you have a passion and a talent for it. What makes you stand out? What’s your biz genius?
From there, once you’ve reminded yourself of how awesome you are and you’re feeling confident and comfortable, make a list of where you want to improve. This is where you can use comparisonitis to your advantage. Take some time to think about how you may be able to improve upon anything on that list. Maybe you’d like to spend more time on your branding. Or maybe connecting more authentically with the clients you have before you look at growing your client list is where you need to focus. Whatever your situation may be, take it as an opportunity to step up and grow your strengths even further. This can actually be exciting!
March to your own drum
Just because someone else looks like they have the trappings of the life and business that you want, doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for you. You need to live your life and nourish yourself in a way that can lead you and your business to success that is sustainable. What do you want? What does your healthy, happy life look like?
Forge your own path and work on you so you can be the best version of yourself – not some faked-out version of somebody else.
Interested in an extra dose of biz self-help today? Ready to get proactive and stop comparing? Check out (Mind)set Yourself Up for Success and start growing that business with sweat and passion.
Now go and give yourself some love, friend. Because you’re freaking awesome.
Riz McDonald is an e-commerce business owner, business coach, podcaster and a lawyer for over 16 years. She’s also a mum and a lover of good wine...she only ever drinks the cheap stuff when she’s stoney broke.
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